little details

it smells of storms
Outside
over 3 months
since last we spoke
& Inside
I am broken
reflecting these gray
cold days of December
do you perchance remember
all the times you said
you hate hurting others?
yet again I struggle
Not to be so selfishly
cognizant of all my sundry
discomforts; my universe
Nothing to you
& every morning a vast endeavor
to awaken in this Life
How & where did I go awry
with you content
to leave me alone in the presence
of your silence?
Did I miss your exit cue
unnoticed stage left
falling swiftly out of view…
& inside these storms
have died, with nothing left
to hold onto.

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Motions

that flickering streetlight… creepy as fuck
I forgot how to breath
something is stuck
on the silence between
apathy & care
taking up all the space
stealing the air

1…2…3… counting is supposed to give some relief
but it’s impossible to imagine
when drowning in grief;
& being abandoned
DOES NOT
empower healing
when you are rotting
in the avalanche of feeling

left kneeling & broken
with empty words
to choke on
a battle concluded
so finish the motions.

Gravity has you still

Mine is not the face you seek
when sadness holds you tight
nor the hand you reach for
when you are weak
…hurting in the night
mine is not the voice you crave
when you need to talk it through
or the messages you like to save
when I have texted you
& you would insist you’re fine
just floating
content in your pool of sorrow
making obvious your trust’s not mine
only what you’ve let me borrow
and gravity has you still
weighted chained beneath the surface
& I just a fool to feel
my affection served any purpose
into silence, distance deep
your drowning eyes turn away
forsaking all I wished you’d keep
& anything more I would say.